Permission to speak freely . . .

*disclaimer* The views seen below is not directed at anyone ... it is just a thought out loud (i.e. on my blog).

I just wanted to state that before I go on this little tirade I'm about to embark on. I would first like to say that I am 21 years old, and I can listen to any damn thing that I want to. No one can tell me different.

So people are talking a big sh*t about this new Rihanna song "Russian Roulette." For the record, I am not a fan of hers. So I am in no way, shape, or form defending her.

Dare I say it, I actually like the song. I'm drawn to anything dark. It is not a personal reflection. I do not walk around Emo'd out, cutting myself with razor blades, talking about killing myself, and wearing dark makeup. That is NOT me. So just because I like this song, would you say that maybe it has a direct connection to me? Oh Sabrina must be suicidal if she's listening to that.

YOU FAIL!

That is not the case. Can I just appreciate music, artistic music at that. So why do I say this, you wonder. Well, there has been an uproar about her lyrics, the song itself. I agree, the gun shot at the end is morbid. I can do without it. It would make the song way better for me. But it is what it is. So I go on Necole Bitchie's blog and saw a post about Tiffany Evans and whatever she said. Let the bandwagon effect begin. She says this:

Russian Roulette= Suicidal Rate gon sky rocket!

You gotta watch what u say. Because there are a lot of weak people in the world. They are susceptible to anything so anything you say or do some people actually do listen. So make sure its nothing bad. Its okay to be deep,but not murder deep.

Man! I really wish I could tell you guys what the industry really is and what stars are apart of destroying this world. The stars who worship satan,and those who have killed to get the respect they have now. You’d be verrrry surprise. Some of your favorite people pretend to worship God but they only do that to save face. Or seem innocent.

Satan was head of music in heaven. He uses influential people…to help influence the world. Think about that. Once u make a certain amount of money. Just know that that’s when they ask u to join. To get in you have accept the beast, worship. Once you join they assist u with ur career.make u huge.only if u agree and obey to destroy Gods word.and his children.

Ppl listen and pay attention. Its a war going on right now between Good and Evil. Evil will rule this world for a min. The people that have this power are the people that RULE the whole world. I’m done I won’t say anymore before I get in trouble.

I am not the biggest religion buff. I believe in what I believe. And that will remain between me and what I believe in. Thank you.

Anyone influenced by anything in the media needs to reevaluate their lives. If someone feels the need to kill themselves because of a Rihanna song, then there is something wrong with you. A Rihanna song son?! Get the f*ck outta here. Seems like someone is putting too much emphasis on nothing. SOMEONE must have a little too much time on their hands.

I agree to some extent with Tiffany that you should watch what you say, but it is a free country. There is sucha thing called freedom of speech. Who are you to tell someone not to say something? I believe that's called CENSORING, and it doesn't matter if you don't agree with the words or not.

People are putting to much thought into simple sh*t. I'm listening to the song. Do I want to kill myself? No. Do I want to jump on someone's bandwagon, and say the song is totally awesome? No. Am I a Rihanna stan? Hell to the f*cking no.

What are you going to do? Make someone not make this type of music. She didn't even write it. Or maybe she co-wrote it, but its a reflection of what she's going through in her life. It's one big ass metaphor about her volatile relationship. You should define that if you don't know what it means. Apparently a lot of people don't. Has she no right to express her thoughts through song? I write poetry. It's an outlet to which I feel the need to express myself. Whatever the subject matter is, its whatever. You take it the way you take it. It's just a poem. It's just words with no power. There's no power until you give it power and draw attention to it. The song or poem has reason when you give it reason. Everyone has their right to interpret things the way they want to. I feel that its not in my place to interpret work that is not my own, because you know what ITS NOT MINE. Nine times out of ten my interpretation will be wrong just like everyone else's.

Actually, yall are giving these celebrities too much power. And its truly a shame. The lines have been blurred. But who's gonna correct them. Celebs are human. We just put them on a pedestal they may or may not deserve.

Time wasted on trying to figure out the meaning behind a song should be put into doing something constructive. Basically just get a life. I don't even have a life and you don't see me worried about the meaning of a song.

What also tripped me out about this post was the second part of it after Tiffany hops off her soap box.

According to The Prophet Blog (who was the first to post the vent), Tiffany’s controversial tweets are centered around the “rumored corruption and brainwashing that goes on behind the scenes of the entertainment industry, often referred to as a group called the Illuminati“.

"If you’ve never heard of the Illuminati before, it’s basically a group or organization of powerful people in the industry that brainwash audiences with hidden messages in songs, music video’s, political campaigns etc. Stars such as Kanye West, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Rihanna, and Matthew Knowles have all been accused of being involved, as have various politicians and actors."

Paranoid much? And I thought I was a A-class conspiracy theorist. I QUIT!

There will always be a hidden agenda/agenda-setting. For as long as there is air left to breathe and a heart still beating, an agenda will be set in motion. Stop acting brand new. I was NOT born this morning.

Fear based brainwashing is how I see it. Propaganda. WHO'S THE PUPPET NOW. Type sh*t. Smoke and mirrors. Who knows if its true? It's all, "I heard" this, and "I heard" that, "I read this somewhere," but what do you KNOW. Can I have some proof? I like facts not rumors.

I'm not gonna jump on something without knowing context, facts. Proof in my hands. People can say anything, and people will believe anything. I am a gullible person, but I refuse to be used.

Think for yourself, don't let anyone think for you.

Captains Log Star Date 10152009 | My Trey Day

Well I should start of by saying, this particular day was the worst day EVA. It had nothing to do with the performances and had everything to do with the people in attendance.
Shall I begin? Yes.

My day started after finding out that I'm failing a simple ass class. Mass Communication 358 | News Editing. I just brushed it off because I told myself that nothing will ruin this day. I'm going to see Trey live. That's all I could think about. I got home about 1:40 giving myself enough time to get ready for the night. I talked to Chelle (@chellelilbmore) who was already at Sonar (the venue). She was first in line. I kept checking to see if she was there alone. So I decided to eat something and put on that Trey inspired shirt (check my twitter default pic) and then by 3 o'clock I was on my way. Mind you the show didn't start until 8, well the doors didn't open until 8. The bus ride was basically hell because the dumb bus driver wanted to stop at every stop smh. So I technically got there about 3:40 or something like that. Tour buses were lined up on the side of Sonar. Trey's bus was right by the entrance to Sonar. I saw Day26 walk into the building but nobody was hype about that. LOL. In line was Chelle and this other girl, whos name escapes me at the moment but it begins with a J. She was from New Jersey and traveled down to Baltimore with her two sisters just to see Trey. I call that dedication.

Anyway.

It started raining. There wasn't much coverage from the rain. And I didn't have a umbrella because I did NOT know it was going to rain. By the time 4 maybe 5 o'clock came I was joined by Sheena (@bmoremisses) and a group of randoms. The line was growing and I was taking notice of how many of them girls were gathering around the front door and Chelle. I just saw it as a tactic to get upfront close to the stage. So with that noted in my mind I just let my cousin, Chantel (@juslikecandyLTL), who showed up after 5 just hop up in the line by me, all the while I was thinking (WHO GON CHECK ME BOO?)cuz I let her get up there LOL. By 6, the line was down the street. And by 7, everyone was bunched up in line. I don't know what the f*ck type of retarded ass line that was. Three ppl standing next to each other in a row all the way down the street. Dummies. The hoochies came out in droves. All of them were wearing, get this, short dresses, holey leggins, heels and open toe heels. I'm like wtf. It's 50 degrees or less out there. And there I was over dressed in a big ass hoodie, jeans and my faithful Chucks. Compared to them, I was a boy. SMH. But I had no money to go out and shop with. So I was sh*t out of luck.

I did get the opportunity to meet two of Trey's people. I forgot their names, but I was introduced to them by Chelle. I also got the chance to meet some of my twitter peeps ... Krys and Gloria (@kryswithak and @musikhunny). They got there a little late tho so they couldn't stand up there where I was. I really wish they could've. I knew I would have fun with them. Being that I lost touch of everyone the minute we walked into the venue. 

Suddenly I caught a glimse of Samiyyah (Trey's background singer for those who don't know) walk onto Trey's tour bus, so I shouted to Chelle that she just got up on the bus. Chelle called out and Samiyyah got off the bus. She's really cool and pretty damn funny. LOL. She tried to jump the gate to stand with us but it wasn't working. LOL. We took pictures with her and everything. People were out there looking at us like who is that. I didn't care. Samiyyah then brought out Najja (Trey's other background singer) and we talked to him for a little bit before they had to run in for the sound check. He's pretty cool too. So we jump back in line. Sheena was making sure that I was as close to the front as I could be because I was out there before all of them heffas that just popped outta nowhere to get up front.

So there's this thing called will-call, which happens to be the stupidest sh*t ever. People walking in and out of the building to get their tickets. So how bout this group of girls go up in there get they sh*t and walk back out to stand next to us in front of the line like they been there all f*cking day. Lawd a fight could've broke out at that moment cuz the group of us were angry. But them dummies didn't get their hands stamped so they didn't get to run immediately in like we did. The doors opened at 8 something and it was a full sprint to get to a good spot in front of the stage. HOW bout my clumsy ass tripped over the gate thing and almost fell into the gate. I knew from then that it wasn't going to be a good time for me cuz I nearly hurt myself. I lost sight of Chelle and Sheena and Chantel had to stand behind me instead of beside me cuz bishes were pushing.

The venue itself was horrible. The stage was little as sh*t so there wasn't much space to stand by the stage. It looked dirty in there. And I never want to go there again *cough* Sonar *cough* And the ticketing process should've been done better. And they should've had the line set up from the jump instead of waiting until 7 oclock to bring some order to everyone in the line which is why everyone was standing in groups by the door. And they should've regulated on the people who tried to jump in front of the line and act like they belong there.

And then the trouble began. The so-called security guards, who weren't securing shit, decided that they wanna move the gate closer to the stage so we can be closer to the artist. Mind you the place is packed now. So I had to bend down get my sh*t and push back to stand back cuz I really couldn't. The guards were pushing us back too. So I'm like WTF. Once the gate was moved, everyone started pushing forward and I almost fell. I also almost lost my spot cuz we were so bunched together, but my ass made room. But all the girls were still pushing forward and the f*cking show didn't even start yet. And I turned around to find out that some thirsty b*tch pushed my cousin aside to stand behind me. So I'm angry. I pulled my cousin's hand forward so she could hold on to the gate cuz she felt like she was going to fall. And I could see the look on her face, she was NOT feeling it already. I just told her to hold on to me if she could or push off me if she feel like she's bout to fall. That was the concerned non-parent in me. LOL.

So 92Q's DJ or whatever he is, came out on stage and started talking. First of all he talk too damn much. Then the opening acts came out. And for them to be nobodies, they did great. The first opening acts that I liked. It was a group of girls called Karma I think (I love their outfits) and this rap duo Icebloc (who were cute as hell.) I had a poster and cd from Icebloc but I lost both. Then Sean Garrett came out. Now I am not a fan of his, I'm a fan of the songs he wrote. So I wasn't all that excited when he came out. His bald headed ass was sweating bullets. So how bout he jumped out onto this standing thing right infront of me with his shirt off and he's all sweating so I'm moving back so I wouldn't get hit by the sweat. It was nasty. LOL. Maybe it was just him cuz his shirt was off but there were no abs to show. And btw, I loved his dancers. They were getting it.Oh and he gave away two Louie bags.

Moving on. Day26 was up next. DJ Jus was their DJ which was quite a surprise. I wasn't expecting him to be there. So this is my second time seeing him ever. Last time I seen him was at the last Scream tour B2K was in without BowWow. But anyway, Day26 comes out in masks and sh*t. And then the beat dropped and it was my song "BiPoloar" good sh*t. I got some of it on video. I may have a few pictures but I didn't take too many. So Willie ... geezus. That's all I'm gonna say. Cause he was mainly on my side of the stage half nekkid. Got some video of that. And Robert ... geesh, he is nasty. I guess thats what he has to do to top Willie. Que spent alot of time on our side too. I done forgot every other song they sung but I was singing along. Then Willie, lawd, he stood on the step outside of the barrier so that was the Show and Feel part of the show. All I know is that someone's hand tried to go into his underwear. LMFAO. I'm a good girl so I only went for the hand, arms and stomach. That's bout it. He used my hand as support to get back up on stage. LOL. No video of that cuz I was too busy coppin' a feel.

Then they left the stage and DJ Jus started mixing music up and whatnot. Then there was an announcement. MARIO IS SICK, UNFORTUNATELY HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM. So I'm like boooooooooooo. He lost his voice or some sh*t at his album release party the day before. But I'm like this is hometown. Why couldn't you come out on stage to say hi. We'll sing the songs for you. We didn't wanna see Sean Garrett and the High guy's asses back out on stage again. We wasn't feeling it. Then they got off stage. I mean we sang the songs. We tried our best to stay hype but no thank you. It's not the same if he's not on stage. It would've been great promotion for his album cuz I don't even have it yet. But whatevs (not a typo).

So it's after 11 and we waiting. My body is hurting. My back, my feet, everything. It was extremely hot in there. No one was passing around water bottles. People were pushing. I was pinned between the gate and everyone else. I couldn't move to bend my legs. I basically had to use the gate as support because I couldn't stand on my own. It only got worse from there. The 92Q guy kept saying yall ready for Trey Songz and I'm like yeah. Everyone was. But he repeated that shit like 15 times. And still no Trey. So I'm getting angry. Not at Trey, but at the f*cking 92Q guy for talking too damn much. I yelled out to tell him to shut the hell up. 15 minutes and a lifetime later Trey's band, DJ Foot, Samiyyah and Najja took the stage. So I'm excited. Then Trey said "Yuuup" and bishes went off. I nearly went deaf. My cousin all in my ear. This heffaskank behind me screaming and I'm like GET THE F*CK OUT MY EAR! And the pushing began again. AT that point I just said f*ck it and started pushing back. Nobody had a problem wit that but I mean it aint stop nobody either. All I knew was that I WAS NOT gonna lose my stop and I wasn't gonna let another bish squeeze her skank ass up next to me. The only skank who can do that is my cousin. LOL. I LOVE YOU CHANTEL. Anyway ...

The heffaskank behind me pointed out Samiyyah and was like Trey is f*cking her. And I turned around and said "No boo, she is his background singer. I know her. It aint like that." I was tired of bishes getting their facts wrong. SMH. So after my correction she was like oh. So I shut her up. It didn't stop her from saying "TREY, I LOVE YOU, I WANNA F*CK YOU!" hoe sh*t. smh. She screamed it several times. Thirsty bish. Go lie in a ditch. Moving on ...

Trey stormed the stage. Now he was great. I loved everything about his whole set. The songs he sung. His simple dance moves. LOL. I have video of him too. He didn't even take off his shirt. Or at least I didn't see it because by then I had my head down on the barrier trying to pray for some strength because I had none. Midway through "Yo Side of the Bed" I was ready to just pass the f*ck out. He didn't do as many songs as I thought he would but midway thru I was ready to go home. It wasn't about him. I repeat it was NOT bout him. It was the conditions of the room and my existing pains. The further into his performance he went, the weaker I felt. Long story short I nearly hit the ground unconscious. I wish I was able to pay more attention to him, but I just couldn't at the end. I needed water, SOMETHING, but that wasn't happening. Thank god for Sheena looking for me when it was all over because I don't know how I would get home in the state.

I didn't order the connected package so it wasn't like I was missing anything. I couldn't personally meet Trey, take pictures and whatnot. My cousin was the one with the ticket. I was suppose to wait for her afterwards. But I just couldn't. I could barely stand so I had to go straight home. I couldn't bend my legs much so I was basically blind limping with the support of Sheena to her car. And tried my best to direct her to my house. Once I got home I'm shaking like there's something wrong with me, which there was. Shortly after, the vomit came outta nowhere and attacked me. So I'm still trying to figure wtf happened to me. Was it dehydration cuz i didn't drink anywater for a number of hours. Maybe I was fatigued and suffering from starvation that day because I didn't eat much. Maybe it was the fact that I was pushed against the gate. I have like this hernia thing in my stomach. I had it since I was born. It sits right above my navel, so there's like a lil hump on my stomach. And that hump was pushed up against the gate and maybe that was the cause of my problems.

This has never happened to me before. I been to a Trey concert prior to this one and I was fine besides the leg and foot pains. I just wanted to state that. I learned a few things from this experience:

• Never get to any concert way before time without an umbrella, food, and water. 
• Dress like a girl and not some washed up bum trying to stay warm ( I mean I just had a big ass hoodie on but compared to the other girls, I should've dressed better.)
• Get an attitude with ppl who jump in front of me in line. (Yeah you may know Chelle but I damn sure don't know you and I was here before you.)
• Take up kickboxing or regular boxing. (So I can whoop these bishes asses because I am not a fighter, but last night I was about to pretend that I was.)
• Smile right (I got braces on now, but I still have this weird ass habit of smiling without showing my teeth and I'm really beginning to hate it.)
• DON'T BRING SHIT! (I am so tired of bringing my purse just so I can stick it between my legs and not being able to reach it when I really need it.)
• Wear better shoes (or get them jell shoe pads to makes my feet feel like they are floating on air.)
• TAKE MORE F*CKING PICTURES (I lost my ability to flash some pictures. That is my own fault, but my ass forgets.)
• When it comes to meeting Trey make sure you got yo sh*t straight before so you can have the ability to get to meet him.
• Learn to flirt so I can get backstage. SH*T! Or atleast get someone to get me a bottle of water. 
• Make sure I meet everyone that I know at the concert at once. So we can all be in the same area. I was standing by some bishes I didn't know and it was NOT fun. 
• Stand in a good spot in front of the stage (don't stand in front of them lil small stage speakers because its hard for the artist to reach out to you cuz they don't see you. Them negros had tunnel vision and saw right pass me. They have a habit of reaching to the right or their left of everything. It's just an observation.) 
• I'm going to second think going to another general admission concert for Trey that has underaged girls there cuz some of them don't know how to act. 
• Stand by people as hype as me and not acting dead because that is a buzz kill. They just standing there doing nothing. And I'm like WTF.
• Exercize my legs before walking up in there before I get injured.
  

Despite the fact that I got sick, I had fun ... kinda. Well I thought the performances were great. F*ck everyone who was pushing for no f*cking reason. I'm glad I was able to meet Samiyyah, Najja, Chelle, Sheena, Krys and Gloria there. Its different when you go from talking to someone on twitter to actually seeing them. It was great.

Video coming as soon as I get my camera back.

Commercial Break . . .

I seen this commercial yesterday. I don't know what I was watching, but during the commercial break this Dove/Walmart commercial came on. "Do your eyes sit wide" one woman starts singing. And the commercial just went through a woman's many imperfections in song. Imperfections that most of us, including myself, feel subconscious about. And I loved the fact that Dove put that in a commercial. I've always loved Dove's this-is-what-a-real-woman-looks-like campaign that counters the everyone-has-to-look-a-certain-way-to-be-considered-beautiful.

Check it out.

Note to Alicia . . .

So I hops on twitter and see two of my peeps talking about some stuff. KNOWING me, I hopped my sleepy ass into the conversation and decided to read up on this situation. This situation happens to be the AliciaMaShondaSwissgate. You know it, you heard it. Now read MaShonda's response to Alicia via twitter.

After having a great evening with my son and enjoying some fun twit chat, I decided to sign off and get some work done. However, a few hours later I was advised that I should check @aliciakeys twit page. I’ve never reached out to her on twitter before. I feel our issues are a lot more serious than a website conversation. Not to mention that I’ve reached out to her many times in the beginning of this whole thing, as any wife would do. Unfortunately, I never succeeded in getting a response. The 1st time I meet AK, my husband introduced us to each other at an event. ( I have no choice but to call him my husband, until he is not anymore) In the messages that I sent to her (AK), I made it very clear that on the contrary of what she might be hearing, I am still married to my husband, living with him and just had a child. Its been two years and I still have not received a response. What I do receive, is constant displays of selfishness and disconcern to me and my son.

I was a fan of AK’s last album, we were both signed to J Records and I always checked up on her projects. I sang her songs and admired her for creating Superwoman and Karma, I would never deny her, her talent. I believed in her until I found out she was possibly sleeping with my husband. The affair was denied by both, until it was finally admitted months later.

Already I can hear some of you saying ” why are u blaming her, You cant make someone leave their wife, You cant break something thats broken”. Well, my marriage was not broken, as far as I knew we were celebrating our sons birth and getting ready to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary . Call it blind love, whatever. I call it being a devoted wife.. As far as me blaming her and not blaming him, thats false. Me and my husband have worked out our differences. We are in a good place as people and as parents. I accept his choices and I am comfortable enough with myself to move on. I am so very blessed in many ways.

My concern with AK is no longer the fact that she assisted in destroying a family but that she has the audacity to make these selfish comments about love and wanting to be with someone, even after knowing their situation. How is this the same Superwoman that I sang out loud with in my truck? I ask myself sometimes.

If you are reading this Alicia, let me start by saying, you know what you did. You know the role you played and you know how you contributed to the ending of my marriage. You know that I asked you to step back and let me handle my family issues. Issues that you helped to create.
Im not saying everything was perfect all the time but no relationship is perfect. We made a vow to God and I believe you should have respected that, as a woman. I know you owe me or my son nothing but I just wish you would’ve handled things more carefully. I’m not judging you, I put you and the whole situation in the hands of God, the Higher Power. Just know that as a woman, I expected so much more from you. I never had intentions on reaching out to you this way but after reading your twits tonight, and the constant disregard, you left me no choice. I feel that after 1 and a half years of you hiding this affair and acting like it doesnt exist, that now is the time to confront it, since you talk so openly about it now

This is not a publicity stunt, I dont have a record coming out. I just need to close this chapter in my life and that means confronting our issues. There is a small child involved. His dad loves him to death and he wants to spend more time with him but hes afraid because he knows we don’t have a relationship. This is my main concern. My son NEEDS his dad and I NEED to be comfortable with you. For him!

I know many will see my point and many will not be able to look into what’s real because they only want to see Alicia Keys the celebrity, not the human. This is not for the “people”, this is for you. Like I said I was left no choice but to reach out to you this way. By now, Im sure you want to find a balance in this as well.

I read your tweets tonight and I felt they were very insensitive. You have no idea how much pain I was caused because of this affair. Its baffling to me that you don’t understand what I might have gone through with this situation. I dont consider myself a victim anymore, Ive learned alot from this! I just ask you to try and be a bit more realistic and delicate to the situation, at least until my divorce is final. I felt me attending the party would have been a starting point for us, since you shook my hand after I offered it, but I suppose I was wrong.

If its so, that you and my husband are meant to be together, then God bless you both and I hope you never have to deal with what I did. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. If you two being together forever is the case, its more of a reason for us to get along, because I’m not going anywhere. Theres a child to be raised.

To answer your tweet, choose smart over spark. Sparks burn everyone, be smart! Its simple actually, just think of the shoe being on the other foot.

Stay blessed and lets work this thing out with respect and dignity.

Hmm. This is very interesting, very well said and respected, but still every interesting. If Necole Bitchie is correct, Mashonda and Alicia crossed paths a little more than a week ago and there was no drama. So I don't understand. Maybe MaShonda isn't contacting her the proper way. If she is doing this through letters, then don't expect a response. Personally, I think disputes such as this should be dealt with in person rather than behind computers or papers. Maybe Alicia owes MaShonda no explanation. Who knows. I mean this situation is a very deep one, life changing even. And what I've noticed that it followed a few tweets Alicia tweeted.

A in-studio debate sparked MaShonda's response. So I'm wondering why twitter of all places. Alicia did not drop any names, but of course it was assumed to be about Swiss. Did anyone notice the quotes around what she said, starting from top to bottom? There was a debate, there could have been more people involved and she tweeted the best response. Have anyone considered that? Maybe I'm the only one who noticed.

Then the act of judgment is recklessly thrown about in the internet world. Fans who were fans lost respect for Alicia Keys. They even called her a "homewrecker." But who are you to place judgment on someone in a situation you are not in. Or who are you to place judgment you do not directly know. I'm just saying. The internet is just an open forum for recklessness.

My ending statement. You're gonna love you you're gonna love. Doesn't matter who it is, and in what situation that person is in. It's all about how you handle it. But what do I know. I never been in love *shrugs*

Captains Log :: Stardate 09112009313

Lately Trey Songz has been receiving a lot of flack for his responses to R. Kelly's response (if you consider an association of a elephant and a fly to this situation an knowledgeable response.) (And I guess Trey came out and said that he's better then him. IDK! But if someone feels that way, then that is their right to feel that way) I would like to say to all of those nay sayers. WHAT ARE YOU 5 YEARS OLD? This is a pretty old song, mind you, and people are getting emotional about it now after Trey's album release. And the fact that all of this bickering is running loose is sad. Now don't come at me talking about opinions, people just saying their opinions and all that other bullsh*t. I KNOW. I wasn't born yesterday. If they have a right to state their opinion, then I have a right to state my opinion about their opinion. (Opinion (n.) – the view somebody takes about an issue, especially when it is based solely on personal judgment) Am I right? Or do you wish not to acknowledge that.

Anyway -flips hair back- I wish people will find something new to talk about. Sometimes what they consider news isn't really news at all. Being that most of you who read my blog, we all know the story about this D.O.A. KELLZ record. BUT others do not. Again, this is where that much needed research comes in. That is what we lack in today's society. We speak before thinking. And 99.8% of the time, it never works to anyone's benefit. And then we are left in this downward spiral of hate, going at each other on the frickin internet. <_< Terrible stuff. Really sad when you think about it. I understand that you have an opinion. And you should understand that I have a right to respond to that opinion if you like it or not.

FYI: Trey made that record in response to R. Kelly's recent mixtape. Would you blame him? Of course you will because you don't understand what is being said and how you should respond to it, so instead you jump on the I-Hate-Trey-Songz-Bandwagon.

So be it.

But at the end of the day, you can't win. You just can't win against hate. (Hate (v.) –to dislike somebody or something intensely, often in a way that evokes feelings of anger, hostility, or animosity) You can't win against someone who is cynical by nature. If they can not at least see the improvement in his music and talent, if they do not have a single good word to say about anything regarding Trey Songz, then you can't win against that. They already have it set in their mind that Trey isn't going to be anything. AND THAT! ladies and gentlemen is the problem with today's society. We were never taught to uplift the next person. We as human beings haven't an ounce of compassion (as in consideration). We waste our energy responding to hate. We are so blinded that we can't even congratulate someone if they are doing something good with their lives, we only see the negative and have the audacity to speak about that. I am severely disappointed because I, too, am at fault of some of this. Its just sad.

As far as the nay sayers are considered, sometimes you just have to ignore because stooping down to that level feeds to this on going problem. Its a never ending cycle. Just know now that Trey is under a microscope, you will encounter a lot of new naysayers. You just gotta deal with it. Do as you will . . . all I know is that this will be the last time I address this. Note: Unfollow negativity. You don't need that in your life.

-end transmission-

Style Me

As suggested by @itselii

@itselii: @thinkin_ONPAPER you can call it "swagger Saturdays" & blog about certain types of clothes u may like?

So guess what? If I'm able to do this every Saturday, then I'll keep it up. Thought the idea was pretty cool. Even tho I don't think I have great fashion sense. Oh well f*ck it.

This is Sabrina's stock style 101




a. Plaid button ups. Even if this wasn't a trend, I probably would still wear these like there's no tomorrow. Why? The f*ck if I know. I'm just attracted to the bishes. No explanation needed. And those two colors in particular might be my theme for the semester. Cool colors and black. Blues, purples, and all those what nots. Btw, don't that second shirt look like that shirt Trey had on that one time. I had my eye on that shirt for months, and then he come outta nowhere with something similar. SMH. I ain't mad tho.

b. I like shirts with words on them plain and simple. I don't go for just any ol' shirts. Its very calculated. The message has to hit me, whatever it is. And it has to look like someone hand written it or hand drew it on to the shirt. AH I love it. Especially these two shirts. The yellow one is my fav. "Never Judge a Book By Its Cover." Niceeeee. Plus I do to go to Hot Topic a lot to look for graphic tee's too. You know, the supermans and the rockbands stuff.

c. As you can see, Skinny Jeans. I know a lot of people are against these, but after my discovery of them late last year, I haven't turned back since. I mean sure wide legs are cool, just never done anything for my legs. I mean I don't like to go barelegged anyway so wearing skinny jeans is close to it. Plus they are easier to wear when I'm wearing boots. I can just stick them inside of them and keep it moving. Mainly because of the fact that if my pant length comes up a little short, instead of being embarrassed bout it like i was in middle school, I could just hide it all. My legs are like super long so I can only order jeans from catalog -hint- 37". The longest length they can create available to the masses. So you know. I'm a lil subconscious about things when it comes to my jeans, but with skinny jeans I find a happy medium.

d. My safe shoes. Converses. I'm not a tennis shoe person. I don't know two shits about name brand tennis shoes because I can't afford them. Which is why I've come to love Converses. So easy to wear. Goes with anything. I gotten over the fact that my feet are a size 10. Who gives a f*ck? Not me anymore. BONG! So I am cool with my long ass Chucks. And they are better in black because I can wear more clothes with it. Lookie here. I don't have much money so I get one pair of Chucks and match everything I will ever buy for that year of school to match them. That's why I wear a lot of black. It just makes everything easier when you have no money.

e.HOOPS. The only earrings I wear on the regular. Not the small kinds. I wear 'em big cause I got to. Small ears, can't have small jewelry. That's what I say. I usually have some unique pieces tho. Odd shaped earrings. Different looking stuff besides my hoops. Leaving some asking where did I get them from. Can you guess where? Uh duh! Claires. Can't afford all that other sh*t.

I'm just saying. I work with what I'm given and try to keep it as long as I can.

Geesh ::Authors Log:: Star date ...blah yada blah

Well damn (Gucci Voice) took me forever and a day to figure out the proper coding for this blogger thing. XTML is not my thing at all. I'm horrible at reading it. And I had the nerve to want a self-made banner on here. WTF SABRINA. I started the project around 12 am est. time, and I'm just finishing ... btw its 5:53 a.m. Yes I know WTF! But I was determined. I put everything aside to make this blog look 10% better. Good grief, what a job that was.

But anyway ... I wanted to make a musical banner since this is technically a music blog, all I write about is music. So I took the time out to find some pics of some of my favorite artist -which by the way was trouble in its self. I was so wrapped up in Trey's world that I forgot that I do have other favorite artist. It just took me a while to figure it out- Continuing on ... the pic consists of: Paramore, Linkin Park, Electrik Red, Kanye West, Keri Hilson, Teyana Taylor, Nicki Minaj, and OF COURSE Trey. I just threw something together, plus I liked the font I used so I think it came out pretty nice. I mean damn I spent hours working on that bish so it better. SMH. Well I'm all photoshop'd and XHTML'd out right now. Gonna catch some zzZZzz. The sun is rising. The sky is getting a lil brighter. AND I FRICKIN HEAR BIRDS PSSHHH!! My eyes hate me at the moment.

But feel free to comment on my banner, that's why I made this post. Specifically for that, peeps. PAY ATTENTION :)

And I'm outtie -waves-

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling . . .

(another photo, altered by yours truly via Photoshop)

I think some people really underestimate the power of a hug. Sure we all throw it around on twitter, but do we actually know how much a hug can alter someones mood? I am not one who openly gives hugs JUST BECAUSE. Its not in my personality. It wasn't something I was brought up on, so I can understand the resistance some people have towards hugs. It's not your fault. For the past two years, I worked hard on accepting and giving hugs in person. And guess what I discovered? It's not so bad. I didn't catch fire. I didn't break nothing. NOTHING HAPPENED. And as relief rushed through me, I wonder why I was so resistant to it in the first place.

So why am I talking about hugs? Well I found this gem of a video below from a friend earlier this year. And it touched me, not to mention ...the song is amazing. Check it out.



For a total stranger to stand in the middle of anywhere holding up a FREE HUG sign just because was mind blowing, to me at least. With the kind of iffy confidence I have, I would never have the guts to do something of this magnitude. I think that's the part that touched me and made me smile. After seeing the video I actually wanted to do it. Just go somewhere, hold a sign up, and give people hugs because I know it would probably make someone else feel a little better about their day. I lie to you not, when I saw this video I smiled the whole way through. It brightened my day, but maybe I'm just a total softy and things like this get to me. WHO KNOWS. I just think that this is a beautiful thing. LOL.

DON'T BE SMUG GIVE SOMEONE A HUG ... you never know how much of a difference you make in someone's life.

-side note- my favorite part was when granny at the beginning gave him a hug, and the guy on the skateboard midway thru ... and he skated up to someone jumped off and gave them a hug.

Yuuup! That warm fuzzy feeling officially just hit me :)

Some Discoveries are Good Discoveries

Support Trey Songz, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! - http://twibbon.com/join/Trey-Songz

I came across this little diddy on BBS Reloaded, a message board site for writers. I'm new to it, but anyways .... I found a post about this and checked it out. WHAT A GREAT FIND. The minute I clicked on it, all of TTU followed suit all in support of Trey. Don't you love when a plan comes together?

I got mine, how about you?

UPDATE: Wow, I love my TTU fam. After I showed them the link, they went absolute ham to make sure Trey seen it. And he did by including me in one of his tweets.


-faints- I was already experiencing a major giggle attack all thanks to producer Young Yonny. I suggest yall check him out on Ustream cause he is hilarious. AND THEN Trey pops out of no where and includes me in a tweet. Man ... what a day :)

Oh well, probably won't happen again unless I have something worth retweeting to him. All I know is that I have my TTU peeps. They always got my back.

Plus on top of that, he actually seen us TTU/TSMB folk. It's not like we tweet for nothing. We have purpose, intent behind our tweets. We just hope that he reads it and he does. And he appreciates it. :)

We don't go ham for him for nothing . . .
We are TREY SONGZ FANS/SUPPORTERS . . . get wit it or get lost

WHAT DO YOU NEED PROOF THAT WE GO HAM . . . THERES ALWAYS A METHOD BEHIND THE HAMNESS. LOL.

TREY TRENDING NUMBER ONE!!! BONG!!

Lost In A Sea of Reality

I think about a lot of things when I'm not on twitter. Sometimes my mind runs away from me and I can't control it. I can't stop it. It just keeps running. But it does that for a good reason. Whatever I'm thinking about, I most certainly miss and desperately want it back. It never fails.

What am I talking about, you ask.

Good ol' TV.

I watch more TV than you may know. While some people find themselves pulling away from it, it's drawing me closer. I'm dazzled at the new arrangement of shows that have been produced in the last few years. Drama is my genre. Them people know how to create some good shows. One day I'll be able to write that good and make my own show.

But I'm not saying all TV is good. The point of this blog is music. It's missing from TV. Don't yall remember the old MTV, BET, and sometimes VH1? Now look at it. A mecca of reality shows, all of which I do not watch. I steer clear of these channels at certain times of the day when reality shows dominate.

What I wanna know is, if these so called music channels is suppose to be music oriented, where are all the videos. See I do not have MTV Jams or VH1 Soul. I depend on BET and MTV for my music, but in this decade...it has failed me.

What happened to The Box on MTV? TRL? What happened to BET playing videos in the afternoon? The Center (the show with Julissa on it)? Rap City? The old 106&Park with Free and AJ? That midnight love show with all the slow R&B music (I forgot what its called)? Didn't BET use to play videos in the morning too?

These channels are sellouts. They reduced the music time slots on each channel. Condensed it to fill the rest of the day with reality TV. Last night I managed to stay up til 4am and flipped over to VH1. They were playing a program called "Nocturnal State" where they were playing music videos. At the same time MTV was playing "A.Mtv." They too were playing music videos. And I sat there wondering. Why do I have to stay up pass 4 a.m. just to watch music videos. Bad enough The deal comes on BET after 2, or something like that. I don't really watch that because I don't like the guy hosting it. But this is not right. Why should I accept this? Is this the future of music? Being replaced by reality TV?

It saddens me that it is this way. It's the reason why I miss 90's TV so much, because of the non-sense I have to deal with now.

What the hell happened? Where did TV go wrong? And who's responsible? That's what I want to know.

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program

Sorry bout the rant. I just couldn't keep it to myself. Things like that you just have to speak your mind. Gotta free your mind or its going to bother you.

WOOOOOOSSAAAAAAA *rubs ears*

I'm good. I'm singing LOL =) and picturing the official dance as danced by Troy Taylor lol

A New Day

Braceface Mania ... that's what I have. I got braces today. WOOT! It's a step in the right direction of correcting my life. It's going to take some getting use to. It feels weird tho fo real. Didn't hurt like i thought it would. It's just really uncomfortable.

I'm the kind of person who likes immediate results. This waiting game is not the business, but it's all for the good. Can't wait to see what I'll look like in two years. And no I ain't posting no picture until I like what I see.